Broken cycles and the broken
by ScareMyPantsOff
Summary: After throwing her life away for the joker. Harley Quinn suffered abuse at jokers hands for two and half years. In a repetitive cycle of returning to it shortly after leaving. After turning to help from a former friend and colleague; Jonathan crane. Can Harley truly stay away from the man that creator or will she simply fall back into his arms?
1. Chapter 1

Harley sat inside the living room of the warehouse that was their hideout, the purple couch had a slight smell of smoke, was covered in random stains from food to blood and it had received multiple rips with cotton protruding out. She hummed a small made up song to herself as she sat cross-legged and pulled a threaded needle in and out of her torn cowl. Her eyes would periodically leave her work to glance at the cuckoo clock that hung on the wallpaper torn wall wondering when her beloved would emerge from his office. With each tick she felt more anxious as her focus became thinner and thinner. A sudden prick caught her attention and brought prying eyes from the clock. She held her finger to eye level and studied the bright crimson blood that drew from the surface and instantly popped it in her mouth to sooth it.

"See babies, now _**that's**_ why I hate needles." Her voice whined slightly as she showed her pricked fimger to her hyenas who lounged by her feet. They perked up and tilted their heads at her then layed back down.

She pulled on her cowl once it was finished and adjusted her pigtails inside the horns of it.

"Come on boys, wanna go fer a walk?" She questioned Bud and lou as she raised herself up from the couch. " Com'on!"

She beckoned them to follow by patting her thigh before she reached the door and grabbed their leashes. Instantly they rose from their spots more interested in her offer, their nails clicked against the floor while they ran excitedly to the door, jumped up towards their mother and whined anxiously. Harley quickly obliged them, she hooked on their leashes and headed out the door.

Evening had set by the time they had gotten outside,the horizon held only a small amount of the sun which left an array of orange,yellow and red to be cast over the line of the city. There wasn't much worry of being seen around the area, atleast by any cops or common citizens;not many people risked being caught in the area after dark. She let the hyenas lead the way as their pace tugged on the leashes in an effort to go faster through secluded alleyways, occasionally she'd take the time to peak around the roof tops just to keep a look out for Batman or his pesky tag-alongs. Sirens could be heard in the distance and more would go off as time went on, in Gotham the crime just like anywhere else picked up at night, but not tonight for her and joker, it was one of the few times their 'shift ' ended early.

As she walked she wondered if her puddin' would be out of his study by the time she got back, he would have to be. She had been gone for nearly an hour, maybe he'd even spend some time with her.

" Let's go home, boys."

With a small grunt she turned around and tugged on the leashes in an effort for them to follow. After a few protestful whines the followed along with much more ease.

The door creaked open as she entered and unhooked the leashes from her the cackling hyenas collars. She smiled and nodded at jokers main goon who sat at the small table along with a few other new ones who remained unknown had cards dealed out among themselves at table in their game of poker. Around the table had near empty glasses and a cloud of smoke hung in the air above them from their cigarettes, As she walked by she crinkled her nose at the thick smell of the smoke and cheap liquor. Her eyes rolled as she wondered if she'd be stuck cleaning one of the nameless goons brains off the wall like last time. She had almost forgotten that tonight was 'game' night, after their long day she wasn't even sure if he would participate in the card games as usual. Maybe she could have him to herself, the thought made her grin wide with the blush of her cheeks nearly showing through her white face paint. Her thoughts were quickly ended as she met a sharp pain in the side of her hip.

" Ow!"

She had not been paying attention to where she was going as she rubbed her sore hip as she realized she had walked into the counters edge. She gazed around to see if anyone had caught her clumsiness, but it seemed the others were too into their game to notice much else.

With a slight pout Harley walked over to the kitchen area to scrounge up something to eat, she opened up the fridge and inspected it's contents;It was practically bare besides the few bottles of comidents,some cheese, week old milk and beer bottles.

" Damn, guess I need ta get some food tomorrow..."

Nearly out of options she peeked inside the pantry, only a near empty box of lucky charms, flour, and saltine crackers with a rat chewed hole in the bag. As if almost on a cue of bad timing her stomach growled hungrily. She shrugged as she left the kitchen and decided it wouldn't hurt a few meals.

In her mind a shower sounded perfect at the moment as it of course would get her clean of the days mess as well as help distract her from her hunger. Taking long showers was a way she seemed to handle many things, even in college she'd spend up to an hour in the showers to handle the stress of finals and exams. She walked back out of the kitchen and climbed the stair case up to the small bathroom at the end of the hall. Already her mood started to lighten a bit as she stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Her eyes gazed into the mirror over the sink and studied herself; her face paint was smudged in random patches which allowed her soft ivory skin to peek through. That was something she had always about wearing it, she prefered the cleaner look in comparison to how Joker wore it and didn't seem to mind the smudge mess. Yet from constant movement and sweating it would always turn into a mess. She turned on the shower and started to undress while the water warmed up, it took a few moments to pull down the snagged zipper at he back of her suit. With a few more tugs it finally pulled loose. Like a second skin she shed the suit from her body, then removed her under garments, mask and cowl. Her fingers traced around her right eye that was colored a dull sickly yellow from an aged bruise,but her domino mask hid it well; from the rest of the world and herself. By the time she had finished and freed her hair from its pigtails the bathroom had begun to steam up and already covered the mirror.

She pulled the curtain back and stepped into the stream of hot water, letting it loosen and relax her muscles. Nothing but the sound of running water filled the room, it reminded her of the sound of rain against a window. The sweet aroma of black cherries filled her nostrils as she rubbed her favorite three in one bottle of soap through her hair and then over her body; the white foam lather covering her body. Moments like this was one of her few pleasures she had when she was alone. She used the rest of her time as the water began to grow cold to shave quickly,using a tiny amount of her soap for cream,

Carefully but quickly she glided the razor over her long legs in long quick strokes. Her teeth chattered slightly from the now cold water that poured over her, once she was satisfied with her work she switched the water off, stepped out and wrapped a towel around her body. With water droplets still clinging to her body as she pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and a button up shirt, then used the towel to squeeze any excess water from her hair

The sound of loud talking, swearing and fumbling could be heard once she stepped outside the door and began to head down stairs and towards the den. A noise...no a laugh, one that seemed to cackle in a mix of sinistry and amusement caused her smile to grow bigger as her she quickened her pace into the main room. Finally her puddin was out of his seclusion and she could see him! Sure he was playing the game, but that didn't mean she couldn't watch and silently admire him.

There he sat at the table, his long purple coat had been removed leaving him in only his button up shirt, tie, and vest. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows as he sat with cards in his glovless hands. Her eyes followed up to his face; his makeup had not been touched up and was smeared in blurred patches of grey where the black and white met around his eyes and pink around his scarred cheeks. Even with his shaggy green curled hair that hung around his head seemed amazing to her.

Some of the men turned around as she came into the room and gave a quick glance, but didn't dare gaze too long. Uncomfortably a few shifted in their seats and grumbled as they brought their attention back to the game as Joker raised his eyes from his set of cards to look up at harley, his lip almost in a snarl.

Instantly Harley eyes seemed to sparkle with joy at the acknowledgement. " Oh hiya, mistah j!"

His lips turned up at her greeting. " Why hello, _**Harley**_..and uuh... just what-ah do you think you are doing, hmm?" His annoyance was shown through his eerie glassgow smile as he placed his cards face down on the table.

"I just..was happy ta see that yer out. You were just in yer office fer so long and I wanted ta see ya." Despite the atmosphere and clear annoyance she could read on his face she kept a happy demeanor in hopes he'd calm down.

His tongue drew out and traced over his scarred lip as he leaned back in his chair. "Ah I see, tell me something. Were we not-ah together all day infact? Now be a good girl and let me have some time with the boys." He stated his voice giving away that his words were not a suggestion, but an order. After he knew that he had made himself clear he picked cards back up and turned his attention back to the goons. " Now..ah boys, I believe this would be a good time to fold."

After she stole another quick glance at him she turned around and headed into the main room to retrieve her babies and then made her way to their bedroom. The dark, poorly lit hallway only seemed to add to the depressive feel of house as she walked through. Once imside the room her shoulders wilted down further in defeat as the door closed behiend her, to now have her share of solitude.

The room was cold from lack of ventilation to provide heat, and the lonely space heater in the corner proved nearly insufficient to warm the large room. She crawled onto the lumpy mattress and pulled the thick quilted blanket up to her chin as she curled up, after an hour and a few whimpers she finally drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Streams of light filtered through the gaps of the boarded windows of the hideout as the morning sun rose higher in the sky. Dust particals danced around in the air visibly inside the rays of sunshine. The house was left near quite with only the sound of snores from passed put goons and the light rain that hit the tin roof. Two goons sat sprawled out on the couch with mostly empty bottles of beer that covered the coffee table in front of them, another still sat at the table, slouched over with his head and arms draped over it amongst the cards.

Harley rolled over in the bed as her exposed body shivered from the air realizing most of the cover had been removed by a slumbering joker at the other end, she didn't dare try and pull any covers back to her side as she had learned not to do so. For a few moments she layed there and just stared up at the ceiling as she thought on what all she would have to do. The first thing would be get food for the house, then clean up the mess from last night and then she would see if there would be anything else for the day. Slowly she pulled herself into a sitting position onto the bed and slipped on her bunny slippers, she tsked at their condition; one ear was flopped to the side only being held together by a few loose threads. The once soft pink fur was now grunged with random stains splotched across them, their shape showed their age and wear as the seemed to slouch and no longer cushioned her feet as well. It seemed it was overdue for a new pair.

Her teeth chattered as she went to the small dresser and pulled out clothes from the drawer and then began to change. Once she finished she slipped on the pair of sneakers then grabbed the wig that layed on top of the dresser along with a pair of sunglasses and a scarf.

What she wore was enough to keep her disguised for a trip to the store. A simple pair of blue jeans, a pink sweater, a wig with long ebony curls thay cascaded just past her shoulder blades, a scarf for warmth and a pair of sunglasses to hide her eyes. As long as she didn't draw any attention to herself no one would be able to tell who she was. Quietly she went over to his side of the bed, grabbed a wad of cash and keys from the bedside table, stuffed them into her pocket and headed out the door.

Rain continue to pour as she ran outside to the white van that was hidden behind the buildings. The hairs of her wig clung to her face and neck nearly already drenched by the time she climbed inside, once adjusted she switched on the heat, thankful that it still worked unlike the air conditioner. The wheels spun in the puddles as she pulled put of the alleyway and onto the main road.

Streets seemed to be filled with yellow from the abundance of taxis that held people who didn't want to walk in the rain regardless of distance. Which left only a small amount of citizens who still walked with an umbrella or ran with a newspaper to cover their heads. Part of her laughed at them for being trapped in their own mundane and repetitive lives. How could they not know that their lives were meaningless?! They didn't see that life was nothing unless you treated it like what it really was, a joke. It was a fact she learned just a little over two years ago. Yet another part of her seemed to feel something of like regret, it didn't even seem like the man she knew now was the same one she met and fell for in arkham.

The rain had turned into a light drizzle by the time the van pulled up into the stores parking lot, luckily not many others cars where in it which meant the store wouldn't be crowded. With another quick check in the review mirror she adjusted her hair and scarf then hopped put of the van and grabbed a buggy from the lot.

Squeked sounds filled her ears from her wet sneakers as she walked through the isles of the store. The breakfast isle was first, she stocked the buggy full of pop tarts and sugary cereals, being sure to get a variety, that was best since his taste were always changing. Next was the frozen food, since no one cooked it only made sense to get such things. Her eyes scanned the foods as she walked by all the eye catching frozen pizzas and burgers. Stopping to toss a few things in here and there as few people gawked at the crazy woman who didn't seem to notice the food was about to nearly spill over the side of the cart.

The buggy was over packed by the time she rolled it to the check out line in a partial struggle to keep it in a straight line due the broken wheel and the weight causing it to try to veer left constantly.

"Mornin'!" She chirped to the cashier as she unloaded the food. The cashier gave a nod and eyed the food as she scanned it. The contents was anything but healthy aside from a carton of orange juice and a jug of milk everything was processed.

"That will be four hundred, seventy-two dollars and twenty-four cents. Let me guess, you'll be putting that on credit?" The cashier questioned with a look of judgment already quick to make assumptions.

Harley pulled out the wad of cash and counted out the money to her surprise. "Nice guess, but nope. That'll be cash lady. " She retorted in a matter of fact tone. She didn't bother to get the change as she loaded and wheeled the cart back out to the van, she conturted her face mimicking the cashiers words. The nerve of the woman, who was she to make judgements?! The lady worked as a cashier and she was doctor..well, use to be a doctor. Even so, the woman had no right to act like she was below her.

The vans hinges creaked as she opened the back and quickly started to load the whole buggy with the vans ramp, after it was secured in the back with a rope tied through the holes she shut everything back, not in the mood to actually unload the food. Maybe the cashier would get in trouble for it she mused to herself. A few on lookers stopped and stared as she hoped in the front and then sped out of the parking lot which earned her a few more raised brow glances.


	3. Chapter 3

Joker sat at the wooden desk in his office, underneath all the papers, blueprints weapons and random novelty items on the surface of the desk was covered in "Ha's" either carved or written out messily in large red letters. As if the room had been long abandoned the stained carpet of the floor was scattered with poker cards and bullet casings.  
Even the wall held ineligible writing along with scrawled out child like drawings. Outside the room around the rest of the hideout was starting to become more lively as the other men began to move about and get ready for another days events.

With a groan he stood to his feet and began to pace, so many thoughts ran through his head, so many plans that needed to be perfected untill put into motion. He just couldn't have any less prepared for the batman, it wasn't something that was done in his book. Tonight everything had to go smoothly, no.. everything would go smoothly. His tongue traced along the inside of his cheek feeling the scarred tissue that was hidden from others. It seemed that he held a good hand of cards. He had the place quiet and even when he had woken up harley had done left for once being useful...but still unwise of her not to check first, what if he would have needed the van for getaway, what if he would have needed her help?! Yet she had been gone for over an hour. The more he thought of it the more it stared to itch at it, he didn't understand how selfish she could be at times.

After a few more minutes he adjusted his sleeves, slipped on his coat the headed out of the office. The smell of roasted coffee became more apparent as he stepped into the kitchen to see a few of his goons with mugs in their hands. "Uhh...you, you want a cup boss?"One finally spoke up as if he now regretted having any himself.  
His brow arched beneath his makeup before batting his hand."What..no, I don't have much of..ah.. need for that stuff." He replied after a thought. The group looked at each other and  
shrugged simply taking as another one of his odd habits.

Finally his eyes fell over to the blonde who's back was turned towards him sitting on the couch clearly drawn in by the cartoons that was on the television. Bud and Lou were nestled on each side of her as she sat cross-legged with a head rested on each leg. Her face was clean of any paint, the only colour on her the faded yellow around her eye and the bright shade of red of her lips, nor was she yet wearing her harlequin costume. Instead she was in a simple pair of simple pair of jeans and a sweater, even letting her hair stay free from her pigtails to hang over her shoulder.  
Occasionally her smile would crack over the cat and mouses antics on the t.v.

"So, how was your little shopping trip, dear? I assume that you got everything that was needed." His voice rose over the sound of the tv as he approached the couch with his head tilted, staring down at her. "You did leave here quite early."

Harley looked up from the couch as she turned the t.v off. "Of course puddin', I knew we was low of supplies so I wanted ta get up early fer ya and get it all done. " She replied with a smile as she hopped up from the couch and went over to him to throw her arms around him in sudden embrace. "I even got some of yer favorite stuff!"

Joker let out a gruff and pried her off of him before shoving her a few feet away from him for good measure. "Well if you hadn't of ate so much of it then you wouldn't have had to waste gas, time and money to go get more,huh doll ?" He flashed his yellow toothed grin at her with a chuckle. "Oh and..." With a sudden movement he quickly back handed her across the face, leaving her to topple over the back arm of the couch. " Don't call me puddin'." He added with his voice now darker than his previous tone


	4. Chapter 4

Sirens wailed behind Harley and Joker. They sped away from the CEO building that was now aflame. With a quick swerve of the steering wheel the car made a sharp left turn and brought them down an alleyway. Sparks flew in the air as the cars doors scraped against the hard brick wall. It wasn't long before a dark figure glided above the criminal duo in their attempt to escape.

"Uh-oh, we got company, Mistah J." Harley spoke, glancing over to Joker in the drivers seat. She pressed her cheek against the cold window and lifted her eyes up in search of their pursuer.

Joker cackled wildly and swerved the car when the exit was approached; narrowly wrecking the side of the car into the corner of the building. "Harley, grab the stuff from the back." He ordered.

"On it!" Harley crawled between the seats and went through all the bags and boxes. She squinted her eyes in the darkness and tried to focus to see better.

The night was going as plan and it made him giddy with excitement. He just couldn't wait until his surprise was unveiled for his adversary. Only a few more things were left to be played out and it was getting better by the second.

Stacked wooden crates came into sights as he headed down the docks. Harley raised her head and climbed back to the front just in time for the car to collide into it. Wood smashed and flew into the air and sent the small henchgirl to hit against the dash board and windshield. Smoke rose from under the hood when Joker finally came to a stop; unaware of an unconscious Harley until the ignition was turned off and he was done half way out and barking orders. Now there was no way the plan could be executed. Purple gloved fingers drummed on the roof of the van. Different scenarios ran through his mind for anything he could do to salvage his plan..just with a new twist. Joker was about to abandoned his plan completely when he heard groans from inside the car.

"Awh...hats with tassels don't double as helmets...ow." Harley mumbled. Blood dripped down her painted face; already soaked at the right edge of her cowl. "Hey, Boss. Did we win?"

Their time was running short. Batman had landed on the ledge of the building next to them now with most of Jokers men captured and only two left by the docks with hostages. In another second Joker was around the car. He quickly opened the door and pulled Harley out of the seat by the hair beneath the thin fabric of her cowl. Complaints and cries of pain were ignored while she struggled to keep up with his pace and not be dragged or worse; left behind. The painful pressure on her scalp was relieved, when released she straightened herself up and rubbed at her neck. "Lets go, keep up,Harley!" He barked in no mood to make sure she kept up.

Harley moved behind him back towards their hideout, she looked over her shoulder to the last goon. Even from far away he seemed to look nervous while he held a gun to the hostages in hopes to distract Batman. Inexperienced the last goon was taken out swiftly unknown to the two clowns that ran ahead.

"JOKER!" A voice from the shadows.

He stopped suddenly. Harley came to a quick halt and plowed into her lovers back...perfect. Quick on his thoughts Joker spun Harley around and held her to his chest. It could almost seem as an embrace of endearment if it wasn't for the hooked elbow around her neck. Red paint smeared across her cheek with a kiss planted on it by him. It almost made her swoon until she heard the sound of a gun being readied. The hard metal was pressed against her temple and with his hold she wasn't in much position to squirm.

"Now now, Bat's I was really hoping for us to..ah get reacquainted after such a long break, but my silly old doctor here is still a bit sick in the /head/. What can I say?" He chuckled and drug her back a few more feet away.

"You know then again maybe she just needs a little /shot/, hmm. Whadda think, it'd only be a little pinch. In my professional opinion it's very effective!" With a personal triumph he chuckled and drug her away further until capable of getting away. It occurred ti him that was about the only thing she was good for.


	5. Chapter 5

d"Ya know, I neva realized that you were such a good actor, boss. I really thought you were gonna shoot me fer a bit there. You even had bat's fooled. " Harley began reluctantly while she got herself ready for bed.

He twitched his lip and snarled. Oh how..The retched woman. Because of her he had grown soft. No, that wasn't it. It was only assumed. It was he cause of those assumptions that was the issue, his issue; her. The troubles fester in his mind before he stood and walked to her. The clown glowered with the twitch of his fingers before finally he turned to her. It wasn't something he could let continue. He would have to show her otherwise.

"Actor...fooled? " He chuckled and shook his head. "My dear, that was no elaborate play I put on for him." His hands clasped on each side of her face. She could feel his hot breath that smelled of smoke.

"Everyone has to be willing to make sacrifices while others have to be willing ta...take one for the team. Hmm? "

A flinch came to his words as they scorched his heart. He had hurt her many times, but that had been the worst. No longer wanting to be in his embrace then she quickly shoved him away. "No..you..." The crippled feeling of both sadness and anger clung to her. "Fine..maybe if you feel that way I should just leave!"

It was a bluff; she didn't want to leave. In desperation she simply wanted to see if he did care...if he meant it. Her eyes searched desperately into those that seemed black as coal. And, nothing. There was a lingering hope that his eyes would betray him. That compassion that she had seen in them long ago was gone. None of that came. Instead she was met with a fierce growl and hard grip to the back of her neck that forced to look at him.

"You-ah wanna leave. Out in to a world where you have nothing, hmm? "

Before she could muster up her voice her jaw was struck with a swift, yet hard backhand to the face. The leather of the glove stung her face just as much as the impact. In a whimper she stumbled back and held her face.

"I'm all you have, you ungrateful little brat. "He continued and went to her with a few short steps. Harley managed to get in two dodges until his fingers and hands were firmly wrapped around her throat. A thing she use to often enjoy, but this context was different. The pressure was continuously added until her eyes began to water. Slowly the sounds around her began to have the effect as if she was underwater, her limbs grew heavy even two much just to hold them up to pry his hands away from her and her vision became blurred. Darkness began to close in around his face as she looked on. It slowly began to mix in with the dark makeup of his eyes. In one more grip he tightened one hand and released the other to throw her across the room and into a wall.

If she wanted to leave, she'd leave alright. Bluffs didn't sit right him, she'd eat her words and come to regret them after this life lesson.

Pain jolted through her body upon impact, weak she didn't bother to move and just laid crumpled on the floor while Joker walked off out of her vision. Though he didn't leave the room she could hear him going through things. In and out of consciousness she could feel the warmth of her hyenas next to her until a small luggage case was came into view in jokers hand. Then in a numbed pain her head was jerked up by the grip of hair from it. Out of the room and down the stairs she received more scraps, cuts and bruises while only yelled during the process and incoherent profanity. First was the suitcase that was tossed out the back door into the alleyway and then herself.

"Good luck, princess. " With a sneered tone he chuckled and slammed the door.


	6. Writers note:

I still plan to continue to update, May take time to get each chapter out. I'm working on a few others to post soon. A suicide squad one ( comic based) and A Harleen one as well. I will try and get one chapter per week out.

Anyways, thank you for enjoying my writing.


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